MoVeD

Here’s <a href=”http://mixedpearl.phpnet.us/WordPress/”>My New Blog</a>. Come visit!!

I’m running wordpress on PHP, much more fun with freedom.

it sucks

I feel sulky like a kid lol. Hello world *waves*. *Chews my arm* =D. Ok, to the point then. *Bunny teeth* I can’t get the frikkin downloadable wordpress to install as need /should to work with my webpage!

“http://www.YOURSITE.com/wordpress/wp-admin/install.php”

yes it’s my path and it can’t find it!

This does work with my host. Minimum requirements
are met.

I entered my MySql and created a database with user and password 
and included that information along with host in wp-config.php.

I have added any file types missing in the list of filetypes approved on my administration panel on the webhotel.

So, sho sho?

Forgot

Oh yeah, the sites main language will be in Swedish. At least the blog posts.

I need to vent

3 workdays I gotta wait. For this payment to open my shit up. I’m guessing on Tuesday. It’s not mixedpearl.nu, I’m gonna fix everything before I launch it publically. I have my theme ready and misc things. All I’m doing is waiting to get in and set the shit up. I haven’t blogged in days. I’ve retrieved some nerve damage in my left hand. Ain’t passed for 5 days so it’s time to hit the hospital. Duno how I managed to get this. I have no strenght in my fingers and I drop things held in the hand because some fingers are numb. I’m sighing here. SO I done some thinking and I won’t write crap like this or the previous entry in my dot something. I’ve spent money on it and want to keep it clean so I’ll only update that site with events and pictures, I suppose. And since RL friends and family will have that address. I guess I’ll still keep this one (or if I make a new) and write shitness here. I miss Antonio, I haven’t seen him for over a week. My mental illness has forbidden me to leave my house, haven’t been out much. (Yeah I’m in worse shape mentally than I portray in this journal). I guess the more tired I become of my situation the more I reveal, or some shit. Ya’ll can judge but you duno shit. Go head make yourself look stupid with ignorance, I don’t care, your life is not my life and I’m not effected by ignorance. Pssh! I couldn’t care less about ppls comments. Anyho, I’m keen on testing wordpress plugins and stuff I’ve seen on the net. Can’t wait till Tuesday! Blah blah blah blah.. .

Now I have a juicy muffin with triple chocolate waiting on me.  Envy bitches.

Death to you, death to me

Soemtimes I wonder why the fuck I haven’t finished myself off yet. With all the bullshit in my life. It’s back to haunt me again. It will for the rest of my life, won’t it? Am I suppose to live with this for the rest of my life? It’s seriously sick. All the “can’t live with myself” feelings, all the images pushing front in my head, that makes me twist and turn and disgusted. All the times I can’t sleep at night, because the images forces through. The images and feelings that I carry with me even in daylight. It rules me. It consumes me. It eats me alive a little at the time. All the things that I long but you have destroyed. Intimacy problems because the memories won’t leave me alone. You suck, you sick twisted fuck. I’m glad yo dead. TSS! All the misery you given me. I wanna blow my head into pieces so you can’t haunt me. The only way out of it is death. Do you KNOW how I FEEL?  Words can’t describe what you done to me.

mixedpearl.nu !!

Hoho! I have it all figured out. Now all I need is a webhotell. Woho! Paying for the domain as soon as I have the energy, it’s sitting in my inbox! *big smile*. Need to figure what webhotel is the best fo rmy needs. Me so Happy Papi.

In my head.

So I sat down with ps and dremt away in the thoughts of how I would like my website to look and this is the result. It’s somewhat how I imagine. Ofc the layout expands as posts are written.

Dream.

So I dremt that I and my love was chillin at an apartment me and my mother (and aunt and her kinds) lived in when I was like 6 – 13 and for some reason I was scared that the ex would show up and said that it’s very easy to climb up the balcony. My “fright” got the best of me and I had a look through the balcony door. It was dark and I didn’t see much. I turned around and went back to the sofa where we was chillin and took a last glimpse at the door to the balcony and it was a bit opened, whoa! The ex rushed in like a tornado with two goons behind him. He made a little mess to the room as he passed by and went out through the front door with his goons following him. I was wanted to shout “This is my mothers home” after him (bc he made a mess) but I kept quiet which I found odd because I’m not one to but I decided it was the safest thing. And that’s that. I woke up and I missed my boo like hell and sent him a text messege saying so. Just.. odd dream. So I got up and took out wo snicker ice-creams ot of the fridge and went surfing! Whoho! Isn’t it funny how we can miss someone so strongly from a dream ? Too bad he’s aslepp and I have to wait till tomorrow to speak with him. Brr it’s cold and I’m going back to sleep. Ciaooo! ♥

Hello folks :D

Long time .Truth is I got tired of blogging in English and went back to my native for a while. I know I’m very ”changative”. Now I feel like writing in English again so here I am :D , that’s the story.

Anotnio had a photo up on MSN and it loks like him and he says it but he’s very “jokeative”. He sent me it but I can’t make out if it’s him or not! He said he’s 16 or something at the pic, I say I didn’t know his hair is curly! Ok the eyes are similar and some other things. So after he insited and said ok then don’t believe me I had to eyeee the damn pic. The neck and color body skin is exactly the same as Antonios. But I seen a pic of Tony when (yeah only one) when he was younger and he didn’t look like that. I have no idea if it’s him! And I wanna knowwwww. So any of you that are regular readers of my journal(s) and those of you who knows me personally in Real Life, help me out! Have Your say to help me!

Is This Antonio? (Gosh I duno what my own BF looks like) Could it be him when he was 16? Well, I guess anythings possible? Gah!!

Why can’t I touch you

Why is it so difficult for me to touch you. I can not even hug you when you cry. I can’t comfort you properly. I wish I could, I wish I could just hold. I know I was impossible as a kid, to get close to. I escaped your hugs. I know I was scared of closeness as a child – but today I’m grown. Your my mother, I hurt cause we don’t have that connection. I wish I could tell you how much I love you with a hug. I wish I could give your pained back a massage, but I can’t. I love you, oh so much. I don’t know what is wrong but I cry like a child.